tridd forums

Thanks to Tam for sharing this amazing poem -- to which I've added my own comments below.
__________________________________________________________

THINKING ABOUT BILL, DEAD OF AIDS

We did not know the first thing about
how blood surrenders to even the smallest threat
when old allergies turn inside out.

the body rescinding all its normal orders
to all defenders of flesh, betraying the head,
pulling its guards back from the borders.

Thinking of friends afraid to shake your hand,
we think of your hand shaking, your mouth set,
your eyes drained of any reprimand.

Loving, we kissed you, partly to persuade
both you and us, seeing what eyes had said,
that we were loving and were not afraid.

If we had had more, we would have given more.
As it was we stood next to your bed,
stopping, though, to set our smiles at the door.

Not because we were less sure at the last,
Only because, not knowing anything yet,
we didn't know what look would hurt you least.

--Miller Williams
_______________________________________________________

An extraordinary indictment of an extraordinary time. When I read it, I'm reminded how unfathomable the scope of death must have been, to bring a community to the point that it had to grow callous about death. I've seen this in many who were in the thick of it, who lost all of his friends, and who even today seem callous to loss, having surrendered their ability to feel, rather than face the never-ending pain.

The military comparison is also apt because of the similar effects found during war -- that in the face of overwhelming sorrow, we sometimes cope using this enormous emotional distance.

And we weep not only for the lost generations of people, but (thanks to this poem) for the survivors so profoundly removed that in many ways they, too, have become lost....
(Troy)