tridd forums

A blue roan Mohican cut salutes my grandmother's people as it crosses over this epileptic skull
from a widow's peak to the fat deposits on the back of my neck
and
I am beautiful

A deep blue river runs through these eyes trying to expel toxins and impurities
to help me live longer and healthier
so
I am beautiful

'Tis not the river that is draining the life from these once big rosy cheeks
but instead a relentless invader that arrived here from across the blue
A foreign land
but
I am beautiful

The prized pelt that once adorned a strong chest and rippling torso now lays lifeless draped over
a war-torn region of hormonal imbalance and indefinition
under two steel blue rings and now only resembles the hide of a tipi
yet
I am beautiful

The distended belly of this beast sucks dry the shape and substance from arms and legs
much like a tree in autumn shedding unnecessary peripherals so as to focus
all of its energy deep within its core in order to survive the coming winter
Despite this
I am beautiful

This ass
This once incredibly fine ass that at one time actually made me my living
has almost certainly also determined my death
No rain dance nor bar top shaking it can change that or bring it back
however
I am beautiful

The invader's pummeling blueprint may have all but broken the body of this animal
but it will never break my spirit or will
and because of that
still
I am beautiful
I am beautiful

Ox

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings,
Gerry

You are a beautiful person OX.......inside and out! And I agree with Gerry........WOW!!!!

Ox,

Read the pome before logging in & had to log in to tell you that your pome & you are beautiful--pome took my breath away. The catalog of flagging body parts countered by the assertion of beautiful and finally of unflagging spirit assaults, yeah, assaults, the sensibilities. I second Gerry's "Wow," (including the exclamation points plus some more). Thanks--pome made my day.

Peace, love, & slainte,

Tam/Tom

Ox - my heart smiles, even if my eyes are weeping... you are beautiful in every way....

Thank you all for your kind words -- they are overwhelming.
I actually know next to nothing of poetry, but somehow
this thing found its way through me. I don't remember having written
any since the exercises in grade school and I can't say I've had an
urge to since then.

In fact, this one probably wouldn't exist if not for an extreme circumstance.
My pregnant niece two hours away found out Wednesday afternoon that
her baby was breach and that she'd be having a C-section as early as possible
the next morning. Rather than travel at a ridiculous hour early the next morning,
we all went ahead and gathered at my mom's that evening to be closer to the hospital.

I couldn't sleep that night either for worrying or due to the realization
of just how damn worn out and uncomfortable my childhood bed is now.
Since I obviously wasn't going to get any sleep, at 3:45 I made my way
to the kitchen to start some coffee. I thought I'd sit at the breakfast table
until it was ready. Laying there, was a red ink pen -- now seen as ironic --
and some paper (a stack of Post-It notes).
Then, this obscurity appeared; a stanza on each small square.

Whatever it was, I wasn't sure that I really wanted to share it with anybody.
It certainly wasn't approached with any intent or goal, so I was very hesitant to
post it to the forums, knowing that it was bound to be critiqued and that's not what I want.

I read the pieces again after I got home that night and decided that I owe myself
and others to affirm that determination and perseverance in the presence of
HIV really can go a long way -- at least that's what I got out of it.
Perhaps it can also do some prevention by scaring the hell out of a couple of folks
so they may realize that despite current meds, HIV isn't exactly glamorous.

The thing may seem disjointed in places, but I removed a couple of stanzas
for the post as I felt them to be far too graphic and inappropriate, not to mention
personal. I do think it is more encouraging this way.

Both baby and new mom are doing fine... and are beautiful.

Ox

Now Ox don't make me get all Christina Aguilera and James Blunt all up in here....I give your poem two buns up...Anyway you know what I am trying to say babe..........

Holden is singing Blunts "Your Beautiful" to Ox..

Thank you for sharing something so personal. The poem was sad, yet uplifting and very self affirming, I loved it and you are beautiful!