tridd forums

Dear ones,

As several of you have seemed interested in having a one-day Gathering, I am scheduling one on Saturday, August 30—9 a.m. to 5 p.m.—in Hosanna House at Sanctuary.
Some things to keep in mind:

• That Saturday is on the Labor Day weekend; if that particular weekend is not good for you [and/or if Sunday is preferable], please let me know soon.
• I need to have a fairly accurate head-count…so if you’re interested in participating, I need to know by 8/15/08 [or earlier, if possible].
• While we do not usually “charge” for these events, any small donations [to cover lunch, etc.] would be welcome on that day.
• At the end of the event, swimming is available to those who wish to.
• If you have not previously participated in a Gathering [or you wish to review things], please read the attached information sheet.
• If you sign up, intend to show up…preferably on time; if you intend to participate, intend to stay throughout.
• If you have never been to Sanctuary, please see the attached map.
• If you attend, please park in the first meadow [as you drive in], for the parking areas around the houses are meant for the several residents.
• If you have specific questions and/or comments, please respond by e-mail…or call my cell at 903-521-0490.

I look forward to this time together…..And please feel free to pass this information on to friends and colleagues.


Love & Blessings,
Fr. Tom

SOME GUIDELINES ABOUT GATHERING TOGETHER:

1. CONFIDENTIALITY is a clear and obvious way to honor, respect, and nurture ourselves and others; to deny that is to break something universal and sacred. We are, then, each a member of a priesthood of trust.
2. Our task and business is about dealing with our own selves, of perceiving the holy and the whole within us; therefore, to attempt to “fix” or “heal” or “change” or “rescue” or “take care of” another adult is to deny their own powers and abilities...and to attempt to deflect our own struggle with our own demons.
3. To “pair up” with someone on the journey is often to create an unhelpful alliance, a way of excluding others, a way of creating illusions about trust, acceptance, and growth...and certainly a way to deny uncomfortable feelings within ourselves.
4. If we do have conversations with someone outside of group sessions, conversations which relate to our own journey or about someone else in the group, it is usually best to bring that conversation back to the group so that we all might attempt to share a common reality.
5. None of us is required to “do” anything in particular during our time together; we ask ourselves only to “attend” to our own feelings, responses, reactions, needs, wants...while also attempting to perceive ourselves in others...to somehow connect soul-to-soul, heart-to-heart, rather than only brain-to-brain.
6. We will come to know that there are many things (feelings, thoughts, attitudes, etc.) which we have hidden away deep inside in order to somehow protect ourselves; often, then, if we encounter someone who churns up negative or uncomfortable feelings—someone we want to ignore, attack, or convert—they are likely presenting to us the hidden parts of ourselves (our “shadow”); it is important to remember that such people are teachers for us.
7. We know, of course, from our own life experiences, that we reap what we sow.
8. Something that seems to make a great deal of sense in this process and in other areas of our adult lives is TO ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT, while keeping in mind:
• that we may not always get the answer we want or expect;
• that asking seems to greatly increase the odds of getting;
• that a NO does not necessarily mean a NO forever;
• that a YES does not necessarily mean a YES forever;
• that asking directly works better than seduction and power-plays; manipulation, and other energy-draining and self-demeaning ploys;
• that another’s answer might even allow us to perceive what we really wanted!
9. No one is expected to “tell all” about themselves...but we do assume that “keeping secrets” about feelings or thoughts of ourselves or others is not always helpful to learning, growing, nurturing.
10. To lie to ourselves or to each other is to create illusions and deny reality.
11. It is extremely important to our journey together to intend to stay throughout this event, even (and especially!) if we experience boredom, fatigue, fear, resentment, anger, depression, frustration, anxiety...or joy, delight, fulfillment, acceptance; for some of us, these latter, positive feelings may seem as uncomfortable as the former. If you should feel that you want to leave, please share this with either the group or the convener. No one is, of course, “forced” or “shamed” into staying, but it is helpful for all concerned to acknowledge and consider the thoughts and feelings involved.
12. As ways of honoring our journey together, we agree not to smoke during sessions, to not use mood-altering substances (including alcohol) before sessions or during breaks, and to be prompt for the beginning of all sessions.
13. We affirm to ourselves and to each other that always and everywhere we have the right to ask questions...especially if we’re willing to hear the answers; no one, of course, is required to answer a question.
14. There is no “perfect” system or process of being together, of creating community, or healing ourselves...but there can be an obvious and acceptable spirit of companionship...and perhaps that is all we can ultimately ask of each other in our common pilgrimage...

June 2008




X

Fr. Thomas L. Jackson, M.Div., Ph.D., is an Episcopal priest and spiritual director, and has previously worked as a psychotherapist and certified hypnotherapist. He has been a parish priest, executive director of a university United Campus Ministry, executive director of a mental health center, executive director of a private foundation, CEO of a commercial corporation, a Diocesan Counselor, and staff consultant for ministries to the homeless; he has studied with/worked with Dr. M. Scott Peck, Fr. Daniel Berrigan, Fr. Richard Rohr, John Lee, and Dr. Ian Alger, yet most of his real teachers have been his clients and companions; he has convened retreats and workshops throughout the country, has authored several books and tapes, and is a carpenter by avocation; he is married and the father of four grown children; he presently serves as Abbot of The Order of Christian Workers in Tyler, Texas, where the Order continues to minister to immigrant families, to HIV/AIDS patients, to people in recovery, to children, and to the economically poor.

Directions & Map to “Sanctuary”


“Sanctuary” is located at 12033 CR 496, Tyler, Texas 75706. Phone: 903-595-3191. From north Loop 323, it is approximately 3 miles [on either CR 485 (Texas College Road) or CR 35 (Lavender Road)] to CR 492 (Ann Campbell Road); Sanctuary is approximately ¾ mile north of CR 492, and there is a “Sanctuary” sign at the driveway, next to the mailbox. The various buildings are about 300 feet down the driveway….

From Father Tom:
__________________________

Dear ones,
Given that some folks would not be able to attend the Gathering [or would lose wages by attending] on Saturday, August 30, I am re-scheduling it for the following day: Sunday, August 31—9 a.m. to 5 p.m.—in Hosanna House at Sanctuary.
If this changes your plans to attend—or if you are now able to attend—please let me know as soon as possible.
Some reminders:
• While we do not usually “charge” for these events, any small donations [to cover lunch, etc.] would be welcome on that day.
• At the end of the event, swimming is available to those who wish to.
• If you have not previously participated in a Gathering [or you wish to review things], please read the attached information sheet.
• If you sign up, intend to show up…preferably on time; if you intend to participate, intend to stay throughout.
• If you have never been to Sanctuary, please see the attached map.
• If you attend, please park in the first meadow [as you drive in], for the parking areas around the houses are meant for the several residents.
• If you have specific questions and/or comments, please respond by e-mail…or call my cell at 903-521-0490.
Again, I look forward to this time together…..

Love & Blessings,
Fr. Tom